Parent-Child Agreement Information:
Having children is one of life’s greatest joys, at times it can also be one of life’s most challenging aspects. As parents we are responsible for our children, we must show and teach them how to behave, have good manners, and become responsible adults who contribute positively to society.
One way to ensure that we teach our children responsibility is by creating a Parent-Child Agreement. In a Parent-Child Agreement we can encourage our children to participate in household chores and activities, keep to curfews and be conscientious and accountable. A Parent-Child Agreement can help to reinforce positive behaviors and create consequences for negative behaviors.
A Parent-Child Agreement is an agreement between parents and a child that is mutually created and agreed to by the parties, it is a way to manage expectations, consequences and rewards. It may help to create a feeling of responsibility, accountability and can be very gratifying, fulfilling and rewarding process for both the parent and the child.
When creating the Parent-Child Agreement that we have provided on our website, make sure to involve your child in the development of the agreement’s terms and conditions. Responsibilities, chores, activities, obligations, rewards and consequences should be clearly outlined. It is also important to create an agreement that is age appropriate for your child.
Below we have provided some examples of terms that you may wish to include in your agreement based on your child's age. Remember to keep the agreement as clear and simple as possible, so that it can be abided by. It is also important to keep the agreement in a prominent place so that all parties are reminded of the agreement and what they agreed to. We have also provided on the site a separate cell phone use and social media use agreements that may be helpful to parents of tweens and teens.
For children under the age of five: you may wish to include terms such as putting aways toys, eating dinner nicely, and getting ready for a bath. You may also want to have a simultaneous daily check off page on which you may place stickers or checkmarks once the child does the required chore daily. This way the child can visually see and track their progress until their reward.
For children between the ages of six and thirteen (6-13): You many want to outline in the agreement the child’s responsibilities in a clear manner, as well as clearly outlining the rules for any rewards and consequences. Examples of responsibilities may include: taking out the garbage, doing laundry, cleaning their room, doing their homework, limiting screen time, keeping to a curfew, being nice to the other siblings, etc.…. Rewards or privileges may include extra screentime, be able to hang out with friends, extended curfew, etc.…. It is important to be clear with your child what your expectations are and how rewards and privileges, as well as consequences are measured. It is also a good idea to keep the agreement in a location that is easily accessible and visible to all parties, such as in the kitchen, on the refrigerator or on a family board.
For older teens (14+) some of the above terms may be the same, however some additional terms may include sticking to their curfew, not drinking at parties or use of drugs, rules regarding dating or hanging out with friends, not cheating, limiting access to the family car, cell phone use, social media use, academic commitment, such as completing a study routine or prepping for the SATs. Make sure to involve your child in the drafting of the agreement as this provides teenagers with further incentive to complete the tasks and creates and enforces the idea of keeping their word and becoming responsible young adults, as well as helping to develop their negotiation skills.
We also provide on the site separate social media agreements and cell phone use agreements for parents and teens that may be additional resources for families.